Position: We Need Large Language Models Optimized For Our Well-Being
Large language models are useful because we taught them to give us what we want. This works when success can be judged immediately, but people increasingly bring these systems their relationships, hard decisions, and long-term goals, where what a user wants to hear and what serves them best are frequently different. We argue that LLM providers should offer at least one widely accessible, opt-in mode optimized and evaluated for long-term well-being rather than next-turn approval. This is a pressing need, as models have been found to endorse questionable framings well above human baselines, users take AI advice readily without their well-being improving, and sycophantic models raise dependence while lowering prosocial intent. The mentors, coaches, and therapists we trust with our long-term development earn that trust by being willing to say what we do not want to hear, and LLMs should do the same. We propose three principles---change the objective, give users explicit relational roles, avoid paternalism---and organize the design space around three choices the current objective makes implicitly: the horizon over which well-being is measured (When), whose interests it represents (Who), and what role the assistant plays (How).