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arXiv · 2403.19749

Multi-Messenger Astrology

Gwen Walker·Nick Ekanger·R. Andrew Gustafson·Sean Heston
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Abstract

It has long been accepted that the cosmos determine our personalities, relationships, and even our fate. Unlike our condensed matter colleagues - who regularly use quantum mechanics to determine the healing properties of crystals - astrology techniques have been unchanged since the 19th century. In this paper, we discuss how astrophysical messengers beyond starlight can be used to predict the future and excuse an $\mathcal{O}(1)$ fraction of our negative personality traits.

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Gwen Walker, Nick Ekanger, R. Andrew Gustafson, Sean Heston. 2024-03-28. Multi-Messenger Astrology. https://arxiv.org/abs/2403.19749

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